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Kauffe's Report: Politics Over Lunch 2
Politics Over Lunch 2 Damos Crusade Campaign Foster: Continuing replay. While master stays inside, the rest of the crew repositions themselves outside the resteraunts perimeters: Save for the Eldar Za'Shan who descends to the resteraunt's wine cellar. The Ork, Red Ded, spots several of the, newly dubbed, Chaneese enemy forces attempting to infiltrate the building. He kills them with a impecible grenade toss. The militant Moll climbs to the second story and fires her turret on incoming enemy ground units, she has trouble controlling the turret, and misses most of them. Commander Erika moves outside and fires her guns at the incoming enemies, all the meanwhile being supported by the allied armie's soldiers. Nicole inspects the bodies of the Chaneese dead and finds a pair of grenades. Master inspects the body of the Chaneese female leader in the hopes of finding the walkie talkie that she communicated her forces with. He finds it, but the device has been damaged beyond repair. (May the spirit of the device R.I.P.) Master looks at the tanks inside the building and notices that one of the tanks looks like it is still operable. Master moves towards it. Allied reinforcements have disenbarked from the Brisk Intervention. Reinforcements are now on route to battlefield. Further scanning of the battlefield has revealed the Chaneese have deployed two medium classed tanks on the perimeter. Skirmishes are being detected throughout the vacinity. The largest battle is being fought at the harbor. Chaneese naval forces are destroying a desperate allied fleet. Enemy tanks are honing in on our location. Red Ded 'shneaks' towards the closest tank, axes in his hands. Allied reinforcements arrive on the planet surface. Troops are fired apon while deploying, but remain 'calm' and fire as is expected of them. Master reaches the top of the tank inside the resteraunt. As he opens the lid, an enemy soldier still alive in the tank, sees master and fires at him. Master avoids the shot, but the enemy closes the tank, and locks it. Determined, Master begins bashing on the lid with his poweraxe. BSHZHZSZXZ *ERROR* ZSZSZSZSZSSZSZSZSZHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Foster: *REBOOTING*. . . . . . SCANNING. . . . Master's condition CRITICAL! Injuries consistent from being hit by the blast radius of an enemy tank missile. Third degree burns detected on left side of body! Certainty of death rising! Immediate first aid required! Sending distress signal via siren. Continuing last known objective. . . . Reconnected to camera feed. . . . Commander Erika is airborne, and is displaying superior airial manuverbilaty on account of her wings. Nicole is retreating inside the resteraunt. Moll is still on the roof, and is now focusing her turret on the tanks. Red Ded is near the closest tank, and is about to advance to killing range. Za'Shan has passed out drunk in the cellar. Nicole contacts the U.N. leaders, and asks them how to operate the grenades she recovered earlier. One of them takes the grenade, and in his haste activates it. Panicked, he hurls it at one of the tanks outside the building, hitting it exactly on target. An astonishing throw for a human non-combatenent. The tank is destroyed, leaving Red Ded to sneak towards the next tank. Erika begins shouting orders to her army while airborne. Moll descends the building and regroups with the rest of the unit. Nicole finds Master and I on the floor. She calls for a medic. Both of them start to repair Master to the best of their abilities. Red Ded finally gets to the tank. The tank fires a shot, but it hits indirectly and only causes superficial damage to the ork; despite destroying his chest armor. Red Ded climbs on the tank, and with a mighty swing of his Power axe opens the lid of the vehicle. He tosses a grenade inside it, then closes the lid and clambors on top of it. In the resulting explosion, Red Ded is sent flying through the air and almost pulverizes Erika as he sails past her. Erika regroups the crew and order an evac, along with the U.N. Leaders. All units board the drop ship, including a drunk Za'Shan, and take off. Erika talks to one of the miltia men onboard the ship. Master's condition improves steadily. Last feed from the cameras show the Chaneese fleet being decimated by the Brisk Intervention's Lance. Kauffe: "And that's what happened. Oof. I now know how a hotdog on a grill feels like. That missile did not contain a friendly machine spirit. It must've been by the Omnisiah's good will that I survived that shot. By all accounts I should be dead. I should definetly start wearing stronger armor, and plating. I must also make some servitors to fight for me, so that I start accumulating less injuries. Nonetheless, the mission seems to be successful. I'm certain the world leaders can strike an agreement with Miss Erika now that they owe her their lives. And since that crazy woman is dead, there'll be less naysaying It truly is a shame that we did not get to eat our meal. If only that blasted Eldar didn't antagonize that crazy bitch, I might have a full stomach instead of a burnt body. I'll have to replace some of my body parts now, and get the treatment I need to get back on my feet. Hawt Kauffe out!"